Days when I’m wrong..

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Ever happened that everything seemed wrong?
Ever happened that it kept irritating, Just that one song?
Ever happened that all you felt was a burning gloom?
Ever happened that inside your head it’s “BOOM BOOM BOOM”?

Yes, that is how every semester of my life is,
Is it my flaw or is it who I’m- A Black Sheep?
Yes, that is what every one’s view is, be it her or his,
Am I ever gonna change or I’d always weep?

Chances are there that I’d loose her again,
Chances are there that I’ll cry is dusty rain,
Chances are there that every one would discard me,
Chances are there that a flashback I may see.

Yes, that’s how each season ends,
With sad reviews & cunning critics,
Yes, that’s how before fate your back bends,
With ruined relations & a heart so weak.

Sorry I’ve been for feeding my ego more,
Sorry I’ve been for making my wounds sore,
Sorry I’ve been for missing out on your feelings,
Sorry I’ve been for my ignorant kneeling.

Yes, that’s when I’m perplexed & puzzled,
About the courage inside the coward I’ve been,
Yes, that’s when this hassle becomes trouble,
When the “RED” never turn into “GREEN”.

Inside me, I’ve forever known what to do & how
Inside me, I’ve still lost control over myself,
Inside me, I’m regret ful to events so ‘wow’
Inside me, I know I just couldn’t help.

Yes, I’ve done mistakes & I am repeating them,
But this time I’d not loose in this battle,
Yes, I do not wish to loose her for life,
Be it take riding miles with a single paddle.

They Stay Where They Belong.

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Thank you “Miss Caryl” for such a lovely quote. http://www.heycaryl.com

My intentions are nothing;
rather than telling you how beautiful you are,
My way may be different;
just so you don’t lose that smile five-star,
When you walk carrying sweet curiosity in eyes;
my heart switches from beats to whispers,
Causing my gestures taking weird formations;
while I am still busy stopping my brain & heart from a war.

“Feelings” is a funny word in English language;
it intrudes your deepest wall of defense,
It’s worse in those days of peace within;
when your unjustified ignorance your heart could sense,
Another silly though that makes me smile;
when it is just one face you recall all the time,
& nothing else seem to matter your attention;
my poor mind being jury to this lovely offense.

It’s not that I’vent been in such situation before;
Yes I am silly since a time very long,
Surprise is every time I get lost into this maze of reality;
a flute of romance triggers me to find my song,
Search for you always remains as a mesmerizing reminiscence;
especially when I know nothing about you,
Breathless I dream of you with sober eyes;
moments of warmth when I find you along.

Every now & then when our ways bisect;
kills me because I can’t call you mine,
Hence the rehearsals in my mirror;
gets better with a few glasses of wine,
Just as plain & direct as you are always;
drives me to blindly love you forever,
To just hold you all my life;
to promise eternal love the moment our hands entwine,

In the end when I’ve finally gathered the courage to speak;
what I hold there inside,
I now shall wake up from my fantasy;
Once again with a purpose to decide,
You’re awesome my darling moreover your tantalizing giggles;
but I’ll let my heart down again,
Once again a can of trash;
once again some feelings to slide ūüôā

Yes, It’s difficult to speak to you :)

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It gets so difficult to speak to you; the more I think of you,
I do not know since when your eyes became so pretty; could be my feelings new,
When you are sitting before me & my heart pounding at a rate of Ferrari/Hour
My stalking eyes get lit up with flames & butterflies begin to holler.

Yes! It gets so difficult to speak to you; the more I watch you passing by,
The “Charishma” of a dame so gorgeous; making everything seem so high,
Remembering those rare moments when we talked; I wish back then I knew,
That the one I’d fall for would be no one else but you.

That one expression on your face; when you’re thinking deep,
Bullies my marshmallow heart who so badly wants to beat,
And when you catch my eyes watching you; I would wanna run & hide,
or may be I wanna let you know everything; DAMNIT! I can’t decide.

When I walk through the market; I have always bought a flower eversince,
Everyday of which I thought I’d present to a princess as a prince,
They end up dying each day; cursing my fears of failing again,
How do I justify my defense; that it’s me as much screwed as they in pain?

I have my answers,
That why is it so difficult to speak to you; it’s your simplicity,
Unlike me; always on a roller-coaster of thoughts merging to the same city,
Life is a risk & I have enjoyed those moments; but not with your extraordinary smile,
Your life may be better without me; & I’d still get to see you may be from a mile.

How I Feel?

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Summer is cold & the sun is dwarf, still my eyes wish to blink,
You’re gone & it’s all a shock, still my heart wants to beat,
I melt before you like a candle, how hard it is for steel?
Why should I tell you how I feel?

Elevated my career & plans I never made,
I remember when your face could conquer all that I hate,
A stunning beauty leaving a wound to heal,
Why should I tell you how I feel?

It isn’t about why, it isn’t about how,
A love is lost all that I hear now,
I’ll put my prayer & your happiness under a seal,
But, I’m never gonna tell you how I feel.

The roads that I travel laugh at me, yet I walk
with Empty footsteps being a slave to your company,
& then, it’ll rain pushing me to kneel,
Why should I tell you how I feel?

Some delight stays within this languor,
Epiphany of a rejected innocence, Be careful!
A flower; there are times with the thorns it can kill,
Why should I tell you how I feel?

Your promises would make me dream,
The daylight & the dark; it’ll all be the same,
Building a perfect home for a lifelong Zeal,
I’m never gonna let you know how I feel?

Time when you’re around.

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Thank you Katie for such a wonderful Illustration.
http://katiewoodgerillustration.blogspot.in

Chasing the pseudo presence of her eyes,
Beautiful as ever denying all my lies,
A lilt of feelings start to frisson,
With an ache inside my resonant heart,
Story that gets me inside as a part.

Diversion they say is the best cure,
But her warmth is so dulcet & extremely pure,
Apricity all around with the luminescent moon,
Sweet dalliance with the night gets kindled,
To dance in joy when the raindrops sprinkle.

A face that I remember comes alive,
Finally, something to cheer for in this doomed life,
Her soft hands & mellifluos whispers,
Pouring my veins with Idyllic potion,
Slowly destroying my insatiable notion.

The tale of a lonely “Cygnet” now ends,
Azurish my state dissolves & blends,
I see her waving off with no promises,
Bereft of my beloved I stand to taint,
Tracing my way back out of the paint.

A painting that is mounted on my wall,
Is my everything in my world so small,
Watery eyes acknowledging this mendacity,
& penchant heart waiting for a sound,
till the next time when you’re around.

On your birthday.. Dear Mermaid .

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Happy Birthday Mermaid ūüôā

It’s your birthday today, my best wishes & prayers are for you mermaid.

A pattern with dolphins just passed by,
how they sprinkled you over the sky,
I see the face that outglows stars,
Ingenious the breeze asks me to pray,
Walk a carpet of pearls, on your birthday.

A shingle around my feet shone,
Pink, purple & yellow it blooms,
we crave the cream of the ocean,
they hold my fingers to let them spray,
angels to watch you over, on your birthday.

Herrings & horses are among the magicians,
nonchalant they have huge grins over their faces,
their mystical prowess explores your glory,
season’s notes fall over the pianic array,
waiting for you to sing, on your birthday.

As the celebration gets nygh,
himself the life wants to get high,
resuscitated the leap year into tidal waves,
characters of the surface are now ready to play,
a game of “Thor”, on your birthday.

Several dreams above your oceanic world,
awaits their dusk eyed queen,
& the belly of shimmering moonlight,
bestows them to be as you say,
loveliest the view, on your birthday.

& when all these watercolors combine,
ennobling the misery of this wine,
your surreal eyes seem to guide,
spells to rejuvenate the month of may,
A painting of rejoice, on your birthday.

My oeuvre at end while the sun sets alone,
but with compliments for the most beautiful woman,
While the sun shines, may you always find,
a little window of hope in every ray,
wishing you a thousand rainbows across your bay,

On Your Birthday ‚̧

“Fins meant to fly”

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In continuation of Tale of a Mermaid & So the stranger said …

“How in hell can you handle love without turning your life upside down? That’s what love does, it changes everything.”

-Lauren Bacall

But how? How can you fall in love with me? It could be a vague attraction?

She sounded completely astonished & thus resilient towards questions never answered. A sense of decency & dignity generating sweats of curiosity over her face & then all of sudden the idiot inside me decided to speak,

“Is it necessary to know someone to fall in love with them?” Because I never believed so. I knew my exhilaration was firing up my desperation.

We both could see ourselves standing in the middle of the vast oceanic world getting sprinkled by extra excited waves. They danced in such joy & confirmed that the moment was one they waited all their life.

The black night swallowed our fears & Stars shone like thundering equations of Zues.

“Omnia vincit Amor: et nos cedamos Amori” (Love conquers all, Let’s us too give in love)

-Virgil

Dear Mermaid,

I won’t be spunky about the trust I want to gain from you, All i know is I love you & I am ready to wait for you to love me till my eternity.

Reclusive she receded her feelings yet seeming like a miracle among pearls.

& WHY NOT? The dearest damn time! One of your¬†betraying¬†friend in moment of need. It was time for her to go back to the great depths. I wasn’t very much different from a sad pup out of love all of sudden.

Just about to vanish she queried,

Do you feel better?

Most certainly, My eyes glistened.

________________________________________________________________________________________________

“Luck” – It is the most amazing feeling when you feel lucky. We rely upon luck all our life & it makes us feel alive as ever. I have had always embraced my luck & it somehow always did nullify my troubles &¬†anxieties.

She gently kissed me over my cheeks while hiding under my arms. It felt like she wanted herself to belong in those forever.

Driving my mortality she whispered mellowing her most expressive attempt,

“I Love You” .

In my solitude, I felt so keen; So Alive!

I Love You Too!

Well aware of my insecurities in this period of knowing each other she always loved me enough. The care I searched everywhere was found & flourished. Her warmth was home to my instability.

“Loneliness of her¬†traveler, she faded it with plenty of kisses”

In amazing confirmed my heart chirped with joy. I must tell you,

“If love was the best thing in my life, then the best of love were the kisses, “Her Kisses”.

& Thus bluntly in emotional caecity I said,

“You are way out of my reach” I am so lucky to have you.

She just *sighed* & whispered, I don’t think I am in anyway above you. You are my significant other ‚̧

& since then, she wouldn’t miss a chance of showing her love. She adored watching me smiling. She would adapt her fins to my arms & I would toggle down to feel her playful fragrance. My terrible songs &¬†Guerrilla¬†stunts kept her entertained & I was just too happy about my long-A-waited dream coming true.

In other words, I just simply cannot involve words to fusillade my joy of hearing these:

“You are my pretty boy”¬†or¬†“You are the man I always dreamed of”

Who can? ūüôā

I was always so fueled up with energy being with her. Melting like a candle in “Awe”¬†every time¬†my eyes validated fantasies of her waving fins towards me.

Godly were those moments when she would gain feathers of gigantic waves & fly, fit fully appearing & vanishing like a butterfly, she every time left me tantalized.

Just like purple fantasies in reality, the sea horses sung songs for us & planned our dates.¬†Sharks¬†were jealous & misguiding but we didn’t care. We had each other as everything. She was the one I’d do anything for & this confidence was enormous enough to be brave & wild. She shaped my manhood from a raw boyhood.

One day she leaned over my chest & said,

“I want to share something with you”

Habitual of her silence I wondered & nodded in confirmation. It is sort of comedy when you can’t relate to something & the first thought that comes to your mind is “Am I Screwed?”

& then she sung in mirth & mystique:

“Murdered with hopeless dark,
I linger through all these dark woods,
Wondering if I would ever have a solace,
Habitual & lost I float on my roadways.

Dependant on my evil circles,
Serving demons my fate has chosen,
I give up to breathe & stand,
Like a dozen ice somewhere frozen.

A 13 year old memory stays right within,
Distorted & distributed painfully in neurons,
Seeking trust but do I believe?
Life never seemed fair as sermons.

In your eyes, I try to be alive,
Love me & define honesty & passion,
Bring me equal to my old memories,
A silent walk if the same old fashion”

In those 2 minutes of a hundred dark & scintillating emotions, How she painted a story of a million poisoned syringes slowly killing her. I felt vulnerable standing there in shameless silence trying to figure out what to say as usual. It was the first time she had spoken to me so clearly about how she feels. And then, I glared at a beam of light penetrating depths of the ocean & I was clear about my decision. Holding her hand I said,

When I fell in love with you,¬†All¬†your worries were simply mine. I am going to be with you always & this is a promise. I live to watch you smile, not to see you frown & If I’d ever hurt you, I’d hurt myself more. I love you.

She softly breezed her fin drops over my face & I lifted her in my arms to walk. When I looked into her eyes, they were like a waterfall of aesthetic awesomeness, So beautiful, so down to earth.

We rested over an ice rock she took me to & then we swum like paroles of youth, we swum on lyrics of a Love-book.

continued….