Days when I’m wrong..

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Ever happened that everything seemed wrong?
Ever happened that it kept irritating, Just that one song?
Ever happened that all you felt was a burning gloom?
Ever happened that inside your head it’s “BOOM BOOM BOOM”?

Yes, that is how every semester of my life is,
Is it my flaw or is it who I’m- A Black Sheep?
Yes, that is what every one’s view is, be it her or his,
Am I ever gonna change or I’d always weep?

Chances are there that I’d loose her again,
Chances are there that I’ll cry is dusty rain,
Chances are there that every one would discard me,
Chances are there that a flashback I may see.

Yes, that’s how each season ends,
With sad reviews & cunning critics,
Yes, that’s how before fate your back bends,
With ruined relations & a heart so weak.

Sorry I’ve been for feeding my ego more,
Sorry I’ve been for making my wounds sore,
Sorry I’ve been for missing out on your feelings,
Sorry I’ve been for my ignorant kneeling.

Yes, that’s when I’m perplexed & puzzled,
About the courage inside the coward I’ve been,
Yes, that’s when this hassle becomes trouble,
When the “RED” never turn into “GREEN”.

Inside me, I’ve forever known what to do & how
Inside me, I’ve still lost control over myself,
Inside me, I’m regret ful to events so ‘wow’
Inside me, I know I just couldn’t help.

Yes, I’ve done mistakes & I am repeating them,
But this time I’d not loose in this battle,
Yes, I do not wish to loose her for life,
Be it take riding miles with a single paddle.

“Bliss & Fate”

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Just like those old monks used to say,
Everything happened because of a good reason behind it,
I wanna say something alike aswell,
You make it so nice so we learn to live with it.

Just like those bare trees in autumn waiting for the spring,
to come & love them tenderly all their life they wish,
But you can’t expect a season to stay forever,
A t tragic antilogy between fate & bliss.

So fragile are those moments with you I long to live,
Forever to walk besides you until dawn meets dusk,
So weak I’d stand over the zenith of my fate,
A climate so dry but a couth darkness to lurk.

How pleasant is this rhapsodic law of life is,
Your dreams don’t work until you don’t intend,
& on the vestige of your valid happiness,
You find fate drooling over what you’re about to lend.

& you are left alone to judge the nuance of love & hate,
Where you choose your best suited trait,
Now you’d walk again in depths of thorny life,
To justify your feelings & all the long wait.

When I reach to hold her in my dreams everyday,
I wanna whisper wishes to make her heart listen,
That it’s her whom I need to walk alongside me,
& bliss of her hair on my face to make my fate glisten.

Sometimes I wonder that what I do wrong,
or what I lack; least I deserve to know,
It’s a wonderful life to cherish if I keep my dream aside,
Neither a single grief nor a stabbing foe.

This wasn’t a threnody to criticize “Kismet”
May be reverie overflowing in my veins could be the cause,
It was something I realized sitting under the shed of my rooftop,
Watching raindrops bending the mighty wind to pause.

Then it was a Hail-Storm 🙂

“Cracks on the floor of Innocence”

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Dreams with constructive disguise,
he finds his own seed blooming in her lap,
A man with dark mustache, proud & wise,
swirl of magical wind making them blind,
An old song, he thought he would rewind.

The chants in that kinder garden room,
where I first lost my pencil & broom,
dancing on my shining faith of mischief,
I am back on rawr with 4 o’clock swat cats,
Ofcourse unaware of an undesired chaos.

From that day I wish myths weren’t true,
A wonderland destroyed by a thunderbolt,
All those Old Men who said it didn’t matter,
Leaving my unicorn dream to crumble & shatter,
my eyes seek for an oblivion from reality.

The Man so proud was King of this land,
discovering faith in me as a helping hand,
At each step I felt deep regret & it went on,
Shamelessness cracks on my boat of fear,
doomed sea of lonliness, my eyes seeking a saviour.

Smoke foam of the cigarette between my fingers,
you give fire to a 11 year old & watch him linger,
Expectations raised as usual as eye brows,
The damned truth of every single family,
My beloved child tearing apart his sanity.

Growing older with several loopholes in dreams,
flame of a candle is no different from cream,
Pushed in a corner & bathed with calculus,
the choice I had to say it is mine,
suddenly the blue elephants took form of a wine.

Trajectory is not to find sympathy of you,
I will stay numb till i realize my worth,
Surprised? The kid is now 23 year Old,
Being desperate looking out for more in this presence,
My Poisoned life with cracks on floor of innocence.

They Stay Where They Belong.

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Thank you “Miss Caryl” for such a lovely quote. http://www.heycaryl.com

My intentions are nothing;
rather than telling you how beautiful you are,
My way may be different;
just so you don’t lose that smile five-star,
When you walk carrying sweet curiosity in eyes;
my heart switches from beats to whispers,
Causing my gestures taking weird formations;
while I am still busy stopping my brain & heart from a war.

“Feelings” is a funny word in English language;
it intrudes your deepest wall of defense,
It’s worse in those days of peace within;
when your unjustified ignorance your heart could sense,
Another silly though that makes me smile;
when it is just one face you recall all the time,
& nothing else seem to matter your attention;
my poor mind being jury to this lovely offense.

It’s not that I’vent been in such situation before;
Yes I am silly since a time very long,
Surprise is every time I get lost into this maze of reality;
a flute of romance triggers me to find my song,
Search for you always remains as a mesmerizing reminiscence;
especially when I know nothing about you,
Breathless I dream of you with sober eyes;
moments of warmth when I find you along.

Every now & then when our ways bisect;
kills me because I can’t call you mine,
Hence the rehearsals in my mirror;
gets better with a few glasses of wine,
Just as plain & direct as you are always;
drives me to blindly love you forever,
To just hold you all my life;
to promise eternal love the moment our hands entwine,

In the end when I’ve finally gathered the courage to speak;
what I hold there inside,
I now shall wake up from my fantasy;
Once again with a purpose to decide,
You’re awesome my darling moreover your tantalizing giggles;
but I’ll let my heart down again,
Once again a can of trash;
once again some feelings to slide 🙂

Yes, It’s difficult to speak to you :)

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It gets so difficult to speak to you; the more I think of you,
I do not know since when your eyes became so pretty; could be my feelings new,
When you are sitting before me & my heart pounding at a rate of Ferrari/Hour
My stalking eyes get lit up with flames & butterflies begin to holler.

Yes! It gets so difficult to speak to you; the more I watch you passing by,
The “Charishma” of a dame so gorgeous; making everything seem so high,
Remembering those rare moments when we talked; I wish back then I knew,
That the one I’d fall for would be no one else but you.

That one expression on your face; when you’re thinking deep,
Bullies my marshmallow heart who so badly wants to beat,
And when you catch my eyes watching you; I would wanna run & hide,
or may be I wanna let you know everything; DAMNIT! I can’t decide.

When I walk through the market; I have always bought a flower eversince,
Everyday of which I thought I’d present to a princess as a prince,
They end up dying each day; cursing my fears of failing again,
How do I justify my defense; that it’s me as much screwed as they in pain?

I have my answers,
That why is it so difficult to speak to you; it’s your simplicity,
Unlike me; always on a roller-coaster of thoughts merging to the same city,
Life is a risk & I have enjoyed those moments; but not with your extraordinary smile,
Your life may be better without me; & I’d still get to see you may be from a mile.

Wings till Eternity!

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Everybody has wings to fly.

Life’s not cruel, When I smile often,
& it brings peace, When assumptions don’t happen,
If not the glow of a saint then neither the sorrow of a demon,
This ephemeral journey has only taught me to be human.
But, It wasn’t always such a battle!

There was a time when my giggles were cherished,
& the darkness all around would love to perish,
Through my window on the great white world,
My eyes would learn to imagine & draw,
A holy temple where my heart stayed raw.

To feel safe at night, I’d ask Mom to be around,
& I’d hug my pillow on every weird sound,
Yet, I won’t sleep until I’m sure,
of my angels to be there in my dreams,
to go on an Ebullient journey of adventure & screams.

Those green toads in the month of July,
Singing along with the birds all set to fly,
As messengers of the mighty ‘Thor’
I would know it’s that time of the week,
When the rain drops & I played Hide & Seek.

I remember that girl from the neighborhood,
the one whom I’d marry if I ever would,
All the roses of my garden I plucked & proposed,
Felt so happy that day I dared to dance,
The Eyes that I stalked met mine by chance.

The battle started with my first thought,
to change myself to fit in the slot,
A mistake we all are destined with,
& the chaos of a decadent life began,
Fatigued morals leading to plagued plans.

The temple I abandoned is now someone’s home,
& the rain drops took form of the tears,
My angels were hunted down within myself,
So the roses in my garden crumbled with fear,
As I stood alone with my artificial emotions.

Today when I sit back & rewind my innocence,
All I search for is that magical sense,
that I possessed as my lucky charm,
Looking at the birds again in the sky, I realize
I have wings till eternity, I just need to fly.

How I Feel?

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Summer is cold & the sun is dwarf, still my eyes wish to blink,
You’re gone & it’s all a shock, still my heart wants to beat,
I melt before you like a candle, how hard it is for steel?
Why should I tell you how I feel?

Elevated my career & plans I never made,
I remember when your face could conquer all that I hate,
A stunning beauty leaving a wound to heal,
Why should I tell you how I feel?

It isn’t about why, it isn’t about how,
A love is lost all that I hear now,
I’ll put my prayer & your happiness under a seal,
But, I’m never gonna tell you how I feel.

The roads that I travel laugh at me, yet I walk
with Empty footsteps being a slave to your company,
& then, it’ll rain pushing me to kneel,
Why should I tell you how I feel?

Some delight stays within this languor,
Epiphany of a rejected innocence, Be careful!
A flower; there are times with the thorns it can kill,
Why should I tell you how I feel?

Your promises would make me dream,
The daylight & the dark; it’ll all be the same,
Building a perfect home for a lifelong Zeal,
I’m never gonna let you know how I feel?